Reaping what I sowed

It feels like nothing has happened in the last couple months but a lot has happened. I passed my exams and became fully licensed. I got my first paycheck last week and let’s just say I pay a lot of taxes. After 8 years of school, I’m finally doing what I planned on doing. With the first paycheck, I spent $100 buying protein and protein bars HAHA. So typical. I’ll most likely be spending it on buying some snowboarding gear though. I bought a few passes for this coming season. I tried it once last year and it was fun so I’ll be trying it some more this year.

Thanksgiving was as usual with the family and relatives. It was nice hanging with them again. I feel we’re all getting older and unable to see each other often anymore. We’re all growing up and have to work and tend to our other things.

I’m no longer in school, no longer a student anymore. It feels pretty great actually not having to study anymore. However, I know that there is still much to learn! I’ve been trying to read more and knowing me, I am not a reader. My girlfriend has bought these books that have been recommended to her by a mentor and I’ve been reading them. Some have been insightful and some are eh. But I definitely need to read more and keep my mind active. I’ve been playing so much games but I feel that is a waste of time and I could be doing something much more productive with my time.

With the transition of being student to adulting, I find the hardest part is setting goals. It was so easy when there were due dates and exams at set intervals. But when you transition to being an adult, at least for me, I don’t have any due dates. I feel it is more important to be able to set goals for myself and not only set these goals but create a blueprint to follow to achieve those goals.

Finally reaping the benefits of all my hard work but now I’m seeking new goals to pursue in life. I actually would like to travel since I didn’t get to do much in my life. But as a floater, the schedule comes out later and I live my life 2 weeks at a time so I’m unable to plan anything big. I’ll think of some good goals by the end of this year. Hoping to make some big New Years Resolutions this year. Less than 4 weeks left of the year, going to finish it off strong. 2016 was just warm up, and maybe 2017 is too T__T. WAIT NO, 2017 is the real deal! HAHA LEGGOOOO!

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PASSED NAPLEX

My oh my, where has the time gone? Life has gotten way too busy. I busted my butt during Block 8 and worked so much over time, keeping in mind that I don’t get paid because it’s part of school. In the end, they absolutely loved me and I did my darn best to put in more hard work than any other intern before or will after me. And all I got was a “best of luck” speech in the end. Normally interns aren’t supposed to work over, they’re already working 40 hours a week unpaid but I was working closer to 50 hours a week unpaid and it didn’t seem fair to me. I guess it’s because I’m seeing all my classmates get recognized with treats and gifts for their hard work and I felt so used and tossed aside. I also worked out 5x per week and racked up 10,000 steps at work. Try doing that after leg days. Feelsbadman.

Anyways, graduation went well. Here’s me with the miss. 🙂
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Hired on with a retail chain company. Finished training, it was so hectic. I took my NAPLEX, which is the pharmacy licensure exam and I passed with a score of 118! Passing is 75. I walked out of there feeling like I completely failed it. The test gets harder as you get more questions correct. I definitely needed to slow down because I had 45 mins remaining at the end (only goes 1 question at a time). I also had to pee because I drank coffee before and the scheduled break is 2 hours into the test (halfway). I guess I was worried because I’ve been hearing people that have failed from my school as well as from other schools. I also didn’t study as much as I would have liked and there were still some topics I was so fuzzy about. But woot, I passed!

Next up is studying for pharmacy law exam. I’ve also heard that some of the smart people from my class have failed this one and from all the past students that this one is more difficult than the NAPLEX. WELP, I’ll just give it my best shot. XD

Working out has been like non-existent. But now with the boards being done, just gotta allocate my time appropriately with pharmacy law and get that out of the way. I know people out there are making it with both work and working out in addition to living their lives. WE’RE ALL GONNA MAKE IT! Keep up the grind and the hustle and put in that work!

In other news, I am calling the girl above as my girlfriend. Her parents think we’re just friends that like each other and are going on dates and pursuing each other but not official. Which isn’t far from the truth but we’ve had the talk about being exclusive and both wanting something more serious haha.

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ISN’T SHE CUTE???? HAHA

I wish I blogged more but things get so busy. I love being able to freely write things on my mind. I feel it helps me improve my communication skills and articulate my thoughts and put those thoughts into words. Well, with school being completely over, real life is about to begin for the first time. I’m not exactly thrilled but I am excited to see what I can do and see what the next adventure is waiting for me out there.

Block 7 DONE!

YAY! ONE MORE BLOCK TO GO!

The good news is that all of my hospital rotations have been done and I’m SO glad to finally be able to leave that place. Let’s just say I have developed way more problems in my life than I ever have at any other point in my life. I would say this is the lowest I have ever been in my entire life, worse than the teenage emo/depression I had back then. In every aspect of my life, I was broken… Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

Now it’s over. However, it’s not like I become un-depressed in a weekend. It’s going to take weeks or months to get my head straight again. As for the physical part, I’m in the worst shape of my life. This will take years.

My school messed up my rotations again. It seems to only happen to me because nobody else has any problems with their rotations and they all seemed to enjoy it and I’m over here going through hell for the last 6 months. So I signed up for a site near me for my last block and I am registered for this site as it says so on my registration account. However, the school coordinator put in all the paperwork for the site across the city. Turns out the preceptor moved to that site (same company still) and I’m just confused why I have to move with him. I only intended to commute the short distance but now it’s across town and driving through morning rush hour (8am) and after-work rush hour (6pm) through the I-5 bridges to get back home.

The school coordinators (both of them) told me they can’t do anything for me. Well, ONE of them emailed me back, and the other guy ignored my message.

I feel like this is unacceptable on the school’s part. Like I chose that specific site for its location and they change that on me!… I will give it a try tomorrow and see how my first day goes. But I already have a biased opinion that I will not like it due to the distance. I know I am still a student and should probably suck it up, but holy hell I am getting screwed over. And maybe I am just super fed up with how I’m being treated and they’ve pushed me way too far. And I feel like the school is just sweeping it under the rug. They’re just like “oops, idk, just deal with it”

Block 7!

HANGING IN THERE! I’m starting block 7 of 8! 12 more weeks until graduation!

So my last block was general pediatrics. I got my butt handed to me and I am so burned out. So many new disease states and different levels of management for these little kiddos. I had babies from 10 days old to older patients of 21 years old that didn’t move to the adult ward. I learned a lot throughout this rotation on diseases more specific for pediatrics. I’ve been going in to work 30 mins early and leaving late just to get through all my patients in the morning for rounds with the team. The commute is probably what drives me nuts. I leave my house at 6:20AM to catch a 6:37 bus, to get to work at 7:15, and supposed to start at 8AM, but I start working at 7:30. And it’s an hour to get home as well. So while at work, I’m chugging coffee like there’s no tomorrow. I rarely have time for lunch and skip it on most days. I come home exhausted and have to study and work on projects and presentations. I’ve been sleeping 4-6 hours per night for weeks or a month now. Then rinse and repeat for 6 weeks.

So for this next one, I’m doing the exact same thing but I’m at both the pediatrics ICU rotation and the neonatal ICU rotation. My classmate was just in it and she looked absolutely miserable. I anticipate feeling the same way but I asked her for some tips so I am 10% ahead of the curve lol.

All in all, I’m going through these rotations and this is my 4th inpatient rotation in a row now. I feel extremely miserable and hating my life. Part of it is the commute. At least 2 hours of my day is wasted getting from one place to the next when I could sleep more or get more stuff done. I’ve also just stopped going to the gym and taking these last few months off. I’m fat as duck and hating myself for it. I’ve been having these long tension type headaches that won’t go away, I’ve been feeling like an insomniac, I’m developing more problems in my life without exercise. I feel more lethargic, my bowels haven’t been regular, my eyes are going blurry, I have canker sores all over, and my teeth are staining from coffee.

Legit working my butt off for months of overtime without a break. And here I am about to go into a difficult ICU rotation… I’m so burned out. But 6 more weeks and a big bye bye to the inpatient setting. CIAO! One of my professors said, “you don’t have to be crazy to work in a hospital, but it certainly helps.” And if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. Let’s get crazy and finish strong! Then I’ll go back to the gym and get the therapy I so need.

Valentine’s 2016!

This Valentine’s was super fun! WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

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My gift for her was a pillow pet pig (her fav) and a bouquet of twix. Just a day prior, I realized a vase would’ve looked better than a mug. It was a pain putting that together though lol. I also handmade a card for her too. She got me a giant yard of twix HAHA.

So this girl pretty much captured my heart but there’s still a lot of uncertainties between us. I’m crazy about her and she’s crazy about me. We’ve been on 8 dates so far and I get super excited every time I get to see her. We made it unofficially official on Valentine’s Day!!! She’s never been in a relationship and she’s afraid of getting hurt. She also wants her parents to be involved in approving of who she dates. That’s understandable and I can respect that. Furthermore, she’s never had a first kiss and we still haven’t kissed HAHA. She is a good Christian and her heart is in the right place.

I think there are cons to every side. There are some things that we don’t particularly match and agree with. However, she is someone that I love talking with and in the end, it all comes down to how well you connect with each other. We’ve only known each other for 1.5 months and we both agreed that although we both like each other, we still need time to get to know each other better before laying down a huge emotional investment.

Staying hopeful. In the meantime, I got TONS of work to do. General pediatrics rotation and afterwards is Pediatrics ICU. I also need to try and keep up with the gym and start working on that summer bod! Holy crap, I’m still in hibernation mode and I’m the fattest I’ve ever been. Dang it rotations, all I do is sit here and study and eat!

End of Block 5!

Just finished Block 5! That was one of my easier blocks – Care Transitions. After having Internal Medicine, everything else seemed much easier. My next block is General Pediatrics. I am so nervous for that but super excited! It’ll be similar to Internal Medicine, so I’ll most likely have to take time off gym again, not that I have been going much anyways.

More dates with this girl lately! Snowboarding last month was awesome! It was my first time and I was getting really good at it and didn’t slow them down that much. There was another newcomer in the group too and he was so dead by the end. Thank goodness I lift. My legs were fine by the end =D

We’ll call her T. She’s got a lot of qualities that I’m looking for. She’s super smart and talented, doesn’t drink, doesn’t go out to the clubs, family oriented, generous and sweet. I found out she’s never had a boyfriend and this does raise some warning flags or at least tread cautiously because first love typically don’t last but that is not always true. What I would like to know is if I can work well with this person. Will she make compromises? Will she be understanding? If she’s got good qualities, I could see it working out.

We’ve only recently met more than a month ago and we’ve gone on 5 dates so far. I had asked a few people if they think I should make it official. We haven’t kissed. Actually, she’s never had a first kiss and when I attempted it on the 2nd date, I could tell she wasn’t ready and I didn’t want to push her. I have given her kisses on the cheek and she is receptive of that 🙂

Valentine’s Day is next week. I have an idea but details aren’t there yet. It’ll be one she won’t forget 😀 HAHA

New Years Resolutions 2016

We’re halfway through January but it’s never too late to make new goals!

Big changes are happening this year. I’m finally going to graduate and I will have a real full time job with the career I have in mind, a legal drug dealer LMAO.

One of my biggest goal is to find a daily routine that works for me. Call me boring or old fashioned, but a routine works for me. I like planning my day and knowing what I have to do that day. If there’s a day off, I need to know when those are and what I can do with them. This way, I can plan out my workouts because life has not been consistent lately and I haven’t found much time to go to the gym.

With that said, some of these may be the same as another year.

  1. Less gaming. There were definitely times last year where I felt like I was addicted to playing League. I would spend 15 hours a day grinding away for days or even weeks at a time. So the plan this year is to play in moderation!
  2. Focus on my career. I will be just starting my job and I want to make sure I have a solid foundation. I’m not going to know everything but I hope to be a great pharmacist and hope to know as much as I can in order to be the best that I can.
  3. Read. My gosh. There were so many chances I had this year to read. If I took out all the times I spent playing video games, I would’ve read so many books.
  4. Be a planner. Now that I’m not in school anymore and just doing rotations, I don’t feel the need to plan things out. I have projects and presentations creeping but they’re manageable. I definitely want to get in the routine of planning my days out ahead of time and make sure I know what needs to be done for the day. Otherwise, I feel like it’s wasted. For instance, I wanted this done weeks ago. But I’ve been REWATCHING movies and playing games 😀
  5. Socialize. No longer on campus and I no longer see friends on a daily basis. If there are opportunities to go out, I need to take advantage of those. Basically I need to be out there more often. But as an introvert, talking to people takes energy. XD
  6. Workout. I’ve been on and off for 5 years but that is just part of life. Understand that there are setbacks and continue to find the drive and motivation to be at the top of my game.

Short list but that’s all I can think of.

Last year, one of the things on the list was to write good things that happened throughout the year. It went well for the first 6 months then I went on my trip and basically everything in life was real good and I stopped doing it because there were too many things to write down. It helped me appreciate the good things in life and to take note of them.

Lastly, I met this girl……. She’s an interesting one. 🙂 We’re going on our 3rd date tmw to go snowboarding. It’ll be my first time but she’s a veteran haha. More updates on another post when I get to know her better 🙂