BLOCK 7 DONE!
I am one rotation away from graduation! 6 WEEKS!
So I have finished all of my hard rotations. The last 6 months at the hospital has been intense and brutal. Every day was a mental battle to keep pushing forward. This took a huge toll on my body. I quit taking care of myself, I slept less and less, I started noticing tons of health problems creeping up. I was having intense suicidal ideations. It wasn’t like I wanted to be suicidal, I just can’t stop thinking about it and I didn’t want to think about it. I think I was lacking vitamin D as well. I was in such a severely depressed state. I’d wake up at 4AM to get ready for work and drive to the transit center and take a 45 minute bus ride to get to work. Then I’d get home at like 5pm at the earliest. This sucked during winter! I could go on with a million things wrong that I’m going to need therapy for but this post would be too long.
So it was only at the end of my last week that I was able to contact my preceptor for the next rotation. It turned out he moved across the city! He works for the same company but at a different location… and I had to move my site with him?? I only signed up to stay in my area and my registered site location still says I’m in the area. But for some reason, I had to move to a different site because my preceptor moved? It’s not like I will work with him Mon-Fri 40 hrs/week for six weeks. Anyways, I emailed the school coordinators and they said they could not do anything for me. This has frustrated the hell out of me. Instead of the 20 min commute, it’s like an hour. It’s also in Portland traffic cuz I start work at 8am, the same with 90% of these other people. I also get off at rush hour as well and will be stuck in traffic forever.
I feel like this is not legal and I am completely getting taken advantage of. Maybe I am just at that breaking point where I’m not tolerating this crap anymore. Or maybe it is legal and I just have to suck it up. We’ll see how Monday goes…
Sorry guys. I am at my absolute lowest in life- physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. And just about all aspects. Life is just a crazy blur and I can’t find the time to orient myself. Crazy chronic sleep deprivation…