It’s not good. It’s very stressful and tiring. The endless traditions that are expected from each of our cultures creates bickering and arguments among ourselves and families. We had things set on a church but then it moved to a different church due to a time issue. Then we had other churches to look at as well that may be a closer location. Our reception has changed as well. We created invitations and cards for a specific date but now the date has changed because it is “bad luck” on the Lunar Calendar. After we changed the date, the reception has already been booked on that day so we have to find somewhere else. And my parents are just “ok” with it since the first place was better. Now we’re fighting about decorations. The fiance wants to create centerpieces using fake flowers but my parents need us to have real flowers. What the heck is the budget? We’re looking at $30,000+ right now easily. We’ve gone back to square 1 so many times and it’s less than 7 months away…
It’s even tougher when things get lost in translation. I can’t communicate with them as easily. If I ask a question, they don’t answer it directly. When I want an answer, they don’t explain it to me.
I remember back in college at the university, I was part of a council member that hosts events and parties on campus. We held weekly meetings that goes over the agenda to discuss and determine what we will provide and how. I prefer to have weekly meetings to discuss but this isn’t college and our families don’t even know what a meeting means. Even if we held a meeting, they’d probably not discuss openly until after the meeting is over.
They tell me things AFTER we’ve established what we want to do. My fiance has already bought the fake flowers and party favors and my parents at first said it was ok then now decides that they have to be real flowers.
At this point, I don’t care anymore. If they keep changing their minds, I’m super tempted to call off the wedding and just sign the marriage contract and call it good. In this relationship, my parents will forever be known as people that can’t make up their minds and giving us so much crap about not doing this or that.
The first time she’s spent Christmas together! We have traditions on my side so we spent the day with my side of the family. It’s been a crazy last couple weeks.
Always around this year I tend to be reflective of how far I’ve come and where I want to go in 2018. Things have just been busy and I’m a little late. 2017 was definitely a “wtf” moment for me and a very busy year.
-It was my first year working as a pharmacist.
-Road trip to Seattle
-Tons of food adventures
-Tons of hikes
-First time traveling alone to Chicago!
-Getting closer with the fiance’s family and hers with mine
We’ve also grown as a couple. We’ve read books on dating and relationships. We’re not experts, but by educating ourselves and identifying our communication patterns, we’ve learned to understand each other better.
The resolution goals of last year went okay. The same fitness and diet goals have yet to be met. With such a busy year and still living at home, I don’t have a huge control of the foods I eat.
These were my goals from 2016:
-Read more books
-10% body fat and maintain 150 lbs; squat 225+, bench 185+, swim more
-Play less games
I read more books, prayed more, and played less games. This year seems like it will be busier than the last year. My New Years Resolution goals for 2018 are:
-Continue reading more books
-Same fitness goals as the year before
-Focus on a Christ-Centered relationship
-Travel more later in the year (might have to be a 2019 goal)
-Strengthen relationships between family and friends
-Manage my own finances
We have our eyes set for a wedding date in late 2018. I’m excited! Still growing up, still learning to become an adult.
We’re finally engaged! It was a spontaneous type of moment. We hiked what was known as a 4-T trail. It was a loop around Portland with all the great sights taking a trail, tram, trolley, and train. We started at the zoo and hiked up to Council’s Crest where it overlooked Mt. Hood, Mt. St. Helens, and a couple others. It was a nice spot and I decided to make that my moment and proposed. This selfie was taken at the bottom of the park. Afterwards we hiked up to OHSU, the hospital where I spent 6 months during my rotations. We took the tram down (it was her first time). Then took the trolley (street car) to downtown Portland where we took a pictures at Pioneer Square with the big Christmas tree. We walked over to Luc Lac to celebrate with a nice warm bowl of pho. Then we took the train back to the zoo and took a visit to the Zoo Lights.
It was a fun filled day full of adventure going all over town. I hope we’ll get to spend a lifetime of adventures as much as we have that day. Love you ❤
WORK WORK WORK
It’s not the most fun but you have to make a living. I’ve been covering for a manager on paternity leave and working 84 hours/2 weeks. My paycheck for 64 hours compared to 84 hours is only $450…. Those extra 4 hours of overtime is only $5/hr more than my normal pay. In the end, I am earning less per hour than normal. The more that I work, the less I get paid per hour. Also I’m burned out and all I want to do is spend time with bae.
Welcome to the holiday spirit where people are animals and the mall is a dangerous place. I was finding a parking spot and saw a guy backing out. I turned on my blinker and a guy in front comes around the corner and sees this spot and swerves into it and steals it. RUUUUUUDE! I turned the next corner and there’s like a ton more spots on the upper level. So what the heck… I’ve lost my faith in humanity long ago. The more I interact with people, the less I want to live in this world.
Thanksgiving was fun this year! My gf was in the Philippines last year so this was the first year we got to celebrate together. Lots of food with my family and she’s in the Family Secret Santa! Friday we went bowling for the first time and that was super fun. Saturday we watched Justice League and celebrated my bro’s birthday at home with cheesecake. Then Sunday it was Bae’s dad’s birthday and went to eat hot pot and have this awesome banana cream pie cake. Thanks for the amazing weekend, love you!
On top of work, I’m trying to work out and burn off these calories… I’ve got a long ways to go.
Ok, she over-reacted. It took her awhile but we’re ok now. Didn’t quite feel the same at first, but I think we’re doing better. We’ve put God closer to the center of our relationship to bring healing and grace to us. We do our best to have Bible study sessions and pray for our meals together.
After that fiasco, she’s now gone for 7 days on a cruise with her work friends. I didn’t realize how much I miss her until she left. But then she kept calling me while I’m trying to go on with my day and I’m like 😡 But now I miss her again. 😦
It’s 10pm and normally this is the time we’d call each other and chill before going to bed. But I might just go sleep early. I spent the whole day playing games, listening to music, reading articles, and browsing the internet. Leg day the other day was intense and I am so sore. But hey, starting tomorrow I am working 4x 10 hours, 1 day off, and another 4 days and then I see her again! It would be nice though to have someone to talk with about my day or during my lunch time or after a long day, ya know.
We’ve been together for almost 2 years and I have a dark past that I don’t want to open up about. We’re going through self-help books and Christian books and I’m getting ready to propose. Then she sends me a religious video about why you should open up about your past and be vulnerable. The girl in the video showing grace and humility. So I did. And the opposite was shown. Negativity and judgment. No forgiveness, no chances. Just ending it. A break up. All because of what happened in my past before I met her.
She removed and blocked me from all social media and wants to give back my stuff.
And she’s going back on Tinder.
Well that escalated quickly.
I think I’m starting to get the hang of this “adulting” thing down, but not really. I’m having fat days and skinny days with no muscle, haha. My gf thinks I’m on my period and being hormonal. It has been a very long time since my last update and basically I’ve been working and being together with the gf. Things have progressed along smoothly with her. We’ve been pushing each other to grow as individuals and together as a couple. We’ve read self-help books on relationships and dating. Most of them are written from a Christian-based perspective and it makes total sense. This is the kind of relationship I’ve always wanted. Due to these books, we’ve become highly aware of our communication level and how we each perceive what love is. One of the books I recommend reading is The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Basically there are 5 love languages – Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Gifts, and Physical Touch. We all show and receive love differently and this book has helped me understand my gf better.
These past couple weeks we started doing Bible study sessions together. Roughly once a week or so, we have this outlined guide that we were given by the church we go to that has chapters to study and read from. It asks questions and we go through it together as a couple. Back in college, I was part of a Asian Christian club on campus called Epic and I remember how great my peers were and how they are so God-driven in their lives. Some of them got together and were the perfect couple that placed God first in their lives. I look at my own life and think that I could never have that or be that. Then this girl comes along and changes my perspective. I’m nowhere near where I want to be spiritually, but at least I feel driven to try and be a good Christian.
So for a time, my gf and I were on opposite weekends with hardly any time in the week to see each other. Our schedules just did not match. And ever since my last update, we’ve been put on the same weekends (yay!). But now my regular store is no longer 24 hours so they had to move people around and cut my position so I would float around (like the rest of my cohort) and it also no longer put me on the same weekend as my gf (boo!).
In terms of my fitness goals, I am struggling like no other. But I am still happy that I am able to spend time at the gym a few times each week. The last time I’ve made gains was back in 2015 but I know that isn’t the last time. Life is a journey and I’m definitely in my slumps but hey I’m also enjoying the best days of my life (ie, good food and desserts).
Also I was in Chicago for like 3 days in August. That was fun 😀 In the meantime, I’m trying to adult more by cooking. I’m cooking pasta with shrimp but don’t know where my mom put the shrimp so I’m updating you all while I wait for her to come back… Yes, I’m 27 and I still live at home. #120KInLoans